We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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