my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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