there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
