i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
