when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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