So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
