I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
this hospital has no fireball
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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