I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
