I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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