So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I need to calm my uterus...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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