8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
