I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
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Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
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Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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