clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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