people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
