It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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