She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
