$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
