He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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