my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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