Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
