Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
bring money and cleavage
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
