lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
