just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
