It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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