Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
