I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
