Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
