I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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