did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
