The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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