Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
