Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
