yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
