My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
