My room smells like vodka and shame
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
