We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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