FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
