I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
that's an acceptable place to lick
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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