He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Drake has all the answers
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
