I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just threw up on my dentist
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
