my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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