Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the day after is always just damage control
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
