I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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