Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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