His pubic hair was longer than his dick
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
