I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
now i know why i became what i already was.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
