maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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