..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
