conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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