he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
