What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
