That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
