im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
