Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
