YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
