I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
