so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
