I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Four minutes until I can fart!
So many bounce houses so little time
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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