dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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