doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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