That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
