Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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