I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
