so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize