I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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