Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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