We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
